Cadillac Man

I’m moving! There’s so much to do!

The big thing that has really been weighing on me is my car. Together, Steve and I realized that I don’t need my car in Charlotte, so I’m ending my lease early. Or something like that. I have no idea what I’m doing and it’s really stressing me out. Steve suggests I go to different Honda dealerships to see where I can get the best offer.

First of all, I’m the worst haggler in the world. Second of all, I don’t get it. I don’t even know how to explain what I don’t understand, that’s how much I don’t get it. Is the dealership buying the car back from me? Am I paying out the remainder of my lease? Is there any possible way that I can get some kind of deal on this? I don’t know. I have no idea. I just want someone to tell me what to do, and then I’ll do that. Please and thank you.

The first time I went to a car dealership was in high school. I went with a girlfriend to look at cars (as if I could afford one or my parents would buy me one). The guy at the dealership was so nice! He took the time to walk with us around the lot. There was one car that looked decent and affordable, and I asked him about it. He told us that there was barely any mileage on it because an older woman who owned the car previously never drove it anywhere.

I will never forget my Dad’s face. I came home and told him about the deal – because it certainly seemed like a deal to me. He laughed. “Yea, and I bet he told you an old lady owned it and kept it in her garage and never drove it anywhere.” My jaw dropped to the floor. The initial, holy crap how did you know that? Which turned into, Oh my God, I’m such an idiot – look.

Dad was hysterical. “That’s the oldest trick in the book! C’mon, Lynn.”

I would never go to a car dealership by myself again. That is, until two years ago when I leased my brand new 2015 Honda Civic. I told the guy, I want bare bones. Just the basic version. He said no problem.

What do I get? The sunroof, the camera on the dashboard, and freakin rims on my wheels. Unbelievable. This is why I don’t go to car dealerships alone.

My patient, loving boyfriend tells me not to worry. “You don’t even have to haggle!” He says. “Just find out what they’re offering, and then we can make the decision together.” i.e. I tell Steve what Honda says and then he makes the smart decision for us. His only flaw in this plan is where I tell him what they tell me. Because I just nod my head yes when the guy at Honda talks at me about dealer payoff and finance exchange and negative equity. Yes, I totally understand everything you’re saying. I’m an adult who is leasing this car. I understand.

No, I have no idea. I see you, and words are coming out of your mouth, and I’m nodding my head yes.

Thankfully, this will all be over soon. That’s my optimistic way of looking at it. Today, I have a car. On April 5th, I will not. And that is going to feel wonderful.

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