Going the Distance

Friendsgiving at Matt and ARs 2016

November 21, 2016

Long distance relationship. How does that work?

People ask me this a lot when I tell them that my boyfriend lives in North Carolina.

The answer is quite simple, really. Steve and I see each other about once a month. Sometimes for a few days, sometimes for a week. When we’re not together, we talk on the phone. We’ve been doing this since June and it’s been absolutely amazing. I think the longest we’ve gone apart was about a month and a half. It’s definitely rough, but the precious time that we do actually get to spend together is totally worth it. 

When we’re apart, I’m able to focus on myself and get shit done. We’re completely independent of each other, and I like that. We both also work a lot during our time apart, so that when we do see each other, we can relax and be fully present.

Since June, we’ve been to Palm Springs, Napa, Denver, Santa Monica, Long Beach, Charlotte, Philly, and Jersey. I’ve met his parents, sister, brother-in-law, and two nephews. He’s met my entire family as well. Usually, our time together feels like a mini-vacation. There’s people to meet, gatherings to attend, wine to be drank. And not much down time.

We’re actually together right now. Enjoying a little taste of our first “down time.” He’s sitting across from me at a little table at Topanga Living Cafe. We both have our laptops open. I’m writing, and Steve’s doing some kind of work. (He’s got all these print-outs of God knows what. It looks confusing. He’s making some kind of outline.)

And I’m struggling to focus because all I really want to do is go play miniature golf with him before we head up to Rich and Tara’s for dinner. (He finally gets to meet the Robinsons and I am so excited!)

This is the longest trip we’ve had together without much planned. Nine days and all we had was Friendsgiving last night, dinner with the Robinson’s tonight, and Thanksgiving with Nina on Thursday. That’s it. It’s wonderful. It’s the closest we’ve come to feeling like we’re living together. (It still feels nothing like that. I’m so happy when he’s around and it still feels like a vacation.)

But we will eventually live together. It’s looking like I’ll be moving to Charlotte next year. Nothing is definite yet, but we’re making plans (he’s like me, so planning is pretty high up there on our favorite things to do). And why on earth would I move to Charlotte when I’m in love with California, all my friends, and especially my apartment and neighborhood in Long Beach?

Well, that’s simple, too. The big picture here, is traveling. We both want to travel and explore the world together, and that means we need to save money, so it makes much more sense to live in North Carolina. It’s a temporary move. Maybe I’ll love it there, and want to stay, or maybe we’ll re-evaluate in a few years and move back to LA, or maybe we’ll pick up and move to another country. I have no idea. The possibilities are endless!

But now I really do have to go, because I want to hang out with the love of my life.

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