This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race

Absent is Michele, our photographer. And Schultz, on family vacation (as well as our special guest, Nicole)
Absent: Michele (photographer) and Schultz (family vacation) as well as our special guest, Nicole!

Ugh. Dead. Wake up in a recliner and need to move to the floor. I’m told later that I fall asleep on my back, under a cover, laying perfectly straight. Like a dead person. When I wake up, I’m alone. Everyone else must be awake. Walk upstairs and everyone is sitting around the dining room table. Heather has prepared a ridiculously awesome spread for us. I wish I didn’t eat two huge slices of delicious pizza at midnight. The plan was to do a workout this morning. It is so not happening. Mimosas instead.

It’s on to John (not that I say John) and Mary Kay’s for a barbecue.

Love that we’re having the bbq here. I get to see the whole Montague clan, including Johnny. And that means Trish (Johnny’s girlfriend), too. And of course, Brand. Mr. Montague is skimming the pool when Kelly and I arrive. I’ve been in this backyard in this exact scene so many times before. It’s weird. I grew up here. It’s like nothing’s changed. And I’m still excited to come over and hang out at the pool.

Again, it’s a different vibe here. We’re all guests again. And the little ones are here – Brand and Adrian. Don’t get me wrong. I love these babies. So freaking much. But this is not Girls Weekend. I’m feeling disappointed about how this weekend is turning out and feeling like it’s my fault. Everyone is being lame. I want to turn a switch in all of them and make them have fun. We’re sitting around talking when I sort of voice this to Christie, and she completely agrees. It just doesn’t feel like Girls Weekend. This immediately makes me feel better. I mean, Christie is a mom now, and she was expecting to have a “Girls Weekend” night the night before. Sleeping out, without the baby. And we were all lame. We were. And now today, she has to be a responsible Mom and take care of Adrian. And that makes me sad that she didn’t get her Girls Weekend. The one she was expecting.

Things take a turn for the best. Zack stops by to pick up Adrian. We slowly trickle into the pool and soon, after a few drinks, we’re making up a pool relay. I can pinpoint the absolute best moment of Girls Weekend. We’re all in the pool, and we’ve been talking about this whole relay race thing for a while now, to the point that everyone is excited about it (and has an opinion about it). We’re all standing in the shallow end, passionately talking about how this is going to go. Now yelling. Now arguing. Until Kelly tells us all to shut up. We do, and now she’s going to explain what is going to happen. This is the moment that made the weekend all worth it.

Michele, Kelly, Meg, and Christie
Michele, Kelly, Meg, and Christie

We split into two teams. I end up with the Stevers, Christie, and Jenn. So LMonny (Brand) has these little water guns, like noodle style, soft ones, that you pump once in the water and the spray. A teammate stands about five feet away with an empty red cup. Teammate 1 has to shoot water from the watergun and fill up Teammate 2’s red cup, to the line that’s like an inch away from the top. Then, T2 swims to the deep end while holding the red cup above the water – it has to stay full with water (if not, Michele – our judge – will disqualify your team? No, there’s no penalty for spilled water). Once to the other end, T2 places the red cup on the diving board. Then, T3 plays flip cup. T3 is in the pool, with the cup on the concrete. Then, T4 plays flip cup. Then, T5 grabs the full cup from the diving board and swims back to the other side of the pool. Once there, T1 plays flip cup. Then T5 plays flip cup to end the game. It’s AMAZING. Seriously, so much fun.

We do three rounds. It comes down to the last round and my team loses in such a close match. Actually, we were way ahead of them so I was even more pissed when we lost. I’m still mad. But yea, best idea ever. And a first for Girls Weekend. That is one I hope we carry into future Girls Weekends.

Now I’m feeling a little drunk. And we still have ice cube tray races. That’s a staple. I make the brackets. Since I just explained the pool relay I’m not going to explain ice cube tray races (besides, I’m sure I have explained them before). Christie is the reigning champ – she’s really good at sucking. It comes down to Christie and Kelly and Christie wins! Surprise, surprise.

There was supposed to be a sleepover at Colette’s tonight, but everyone has an excuse or a reason not to go. So we end up not sleeping over at all. Which, again, I feel really bad about because I’m sure Colette has been planning for us to sleep over. I’m also pretty drunk at this point, so I should probably just go home. So I do. There was supposed to be brunch tomorrow at Hollywood, but that’s off the table now, too. Girls Weekend has turned into Girls Day. Yes, I’m disappointed, but I still had fun. And now I know for the future, we can’t do Girls Weekend like this. It has to be away from West Deptford. And I can’t worry about people not being able to or wanting to come. If you can’t come, you can’t come. And if it’s not important enough for you to come then it’s not important to you. Girls Weekend is a priority to me in the best way possible. I look forward to it every year. It’s the one time a year when we can all be together, just us, and be just us.

*Fall Out Boy

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