Last Night

Sisters prepping the empanadas
Sisters prepping the empanadas

In my excitement to write about No Cups Wednesday, I forgot to mention something. In the early afternoon on Wednesday, while Kelly and I sat by the pool, she drinking out of her bathtub and I out of my dinosaur, we were bummed thinking about our last day in the Outerbanks.

Sarah and Courtney are getting here tonight, and we’re leaving tomorrow. This sucks. “I wish we could stay.” Me too. “But you want to go back and hang out with the girls?” Well, yea, but I was really just figuring that you would want to go back tomorrow. “I don’t want to go back. I thought you wanted to go back.” Wait, so you want to stay? “Do you?” Yea. “I want to stay. Did we just decide that we’re staying an extra day?” YES. “Ahhhh we’re staying! Everyone’s going to be so happy.” I’m so excited! “We should tell your Mom first.”

Kelly and I are so excited that we have two more nights here. I don’t know what I was thinking. My flight is Friday at 5pm. I didn’t think I’d want to drive home six hours on Friday and then get on a plane, but why the heck not? Might as well enjoy this vacation as long as possible. We tell Mom first. Of course building it up. Guess what Mom. “What?” Kelly, you tell her. “WE’RE STAYING AN EXTRA NIGHT.” I think Kelly and I are more excited to tell everyone than we are about their response, but Mom is definitely happy. Who wouldn’t be? We’re awesome.

So now it’s Thursday and everyone is finally here (except Meg; we wish she stayed the full week). For the first time this vacation, we’re going to have a beach day. A beach game day. A beach drinking game day. Sarah has printed out sheets – more like graphs – of the different games to play. It’s intense. Once at the beach, partners are randomly picked to pair up for Ladder Ball and KanJam. And I swear to God, by random pick, Kelly and I are partners. This is just getting weird. We’re ridiculously excited, of course. On the other side of the group, Herron is determined to make this Zoosday. What is Zoosday you ask? Good question. I had no idea. Apparently, on Zoosday, you get so drunk that you act like an animal. This is actually his goal. He and Courtney are the only ones involved in Zoosday. Kelly and Christine are really hurting from No Cups Wednesday. The rest of us just don’t care to participate. We’d like to last the entire day.

Kelly and I play the longest game of Ladder Ball I’ve ever played, against Jeff and Muffy. It’s not fair because we keep winning, but if you go over 21 then you have to go back however many points. Anyway, it’s stupid, but we finally win. Then, we switch over to KanJam. This is just a lost cause because the wind keeps taking the frisbee. We finally decide that beach games are over and we should head back to the house. But wait, let’s shotgun a beer first! Because that’s a great idea! Who won’t? (Not gonna lie, I love it.) After the shotgun, I’m done. Head back. Kelly, Court and Herron stay behind. Courtney and Herron continue with Zoosday, shotgunning beers and drinking vodka redbulls. Gross. Kelly…supervises.

Herron passed out... for now
Herron passed out… for now

Once back to the house, I shower and get ready for the night. I’m done with the sun. It’s sad, but I’ve gotten more color from this week than I have since I moved to California. It’s simple. When you live in gorgeous weather for most of the time, you take advantage of it. I definitely take advantage of living five blocks from the beach. I hate myself for it.

Sarah and Jeff are making dinner tonight – empanadas. Sounds good to me. We eat fairly early, around 6pm. The empanadas are huge and delicious. There’s a vegetarian option with peas and carrots and other deliciousness, and a meat option with cheese and other tastiness. Herron is completely hammered when we sit down at the table. It’s weird, because no one else is. Even Courtney, who came back drunk from the beach, has sobered up by now. We’re all sitting at the kitchen table. Sarah walks over with a platter of empanadas. Herron leans back in his chair, for what reason, I don’t know. It’s a wooden chair. A typical kitchen table chair. He’s back on its two legs when it gives underneath and he falls completely backwards. Herron’s head slams into the corner of the refrigerator. It is, without a doubt, hysterical. For some reason, no one is laughing. Oh right, because he really hit the fridge with the back of his head. I cannot look at Kelly but I do. We’re both trying not to laugh. I expect Dad to be in hysterics but he’s immediately asking Herron if he’s OK. Sarah is standing at the table with a platter of empanadas in her hands. She can’t put it down because she’s shaking so hard with silent laughter. It’s awful. She needs to let it pass before she finally sets it down. Herron gets up and says he’s fine, no big deal, but dude, he hit that fridge hard.

I eat a meat empanada and split a vegetarian one with Muffy. Both are awesome. Afterwards, Sarah asks me to help with some dishes. Sure I can do that. But God dammit, I’m washing dishes, my hands are wet, and it’s making it difficult to drink my wine. Kelly! Help me! Kelly feeds me wine in between my washing of dishes. I never have to dry my hands. That’s a true friend right there.

The games continue. Next up, a Connect Four tournament. I choose not to participate. I suck at this game and always feel so stupid when I don’t see it coming. I don’t like to play games I’m not good at. Instead, I sit outside on the balcony with Mom and Kelly and a drunk, nearly passed out Herron.

I keep thinking Herron is done for the night, but he’s not. He just keeps going. Next is a rock paper scissors tournament. So fun! It’s single elimination, best of three. I lose in the first round. So pissed. It comes down to Dad and Muffy in an intense matchup. They keep throwing the same thing. It’s hilarious. Finally, Dad wins and has to play Mom in the championships. They go head to head for a while before Dad beats Mom and wins the whole thing. Can’t believe how exciting that just was.

Later, we just hang out, drinking and talking. Dad sits on the couch with shorts on and Kelly notices his legs. “Woah! You’re legs are RED!” Dad imitates Kelly from earlier, when he refused to come to the beach with us. “Yeahhhh. Why didn’t you go to the beach Mr. Stetson? Oh, I don’t know. Look at me!”

Rock Paper Scissor Championships - Dad vs. Muffy
Rock Paper Scissor Tournament – Dad vs. Muffy

We segway into a conversation about the Wilson’s house.

Kelly: You watch movies when you go over?

Lindsay: They go over every single week. I think that’s crazy.

Mom: Every Thursday. And now, that it’s gotten warmer, it’s more than every Thursday.

Chris: Mom… that wasn’t….because it’s gotten warmer??

Kelly: Do other people go?

Chris: Sometimes. Sarah and Jeff have gone.

Dad: Ridiculous.

Kelly: What is?

Dad: Their house. Their bar.

Jeff: It’s not a bad place to be.

Dad: No kidding, it looks like you’re walking into like, a BAR.

Chris: Literally it’s a bar. Their living room is a bar.

Lindsay: They keep describing this to me and –

Dad: Oh, you’ve never been there Lynn.

Chris: Lindsay just met them.

Lindsay: I feel like I’ve been there by everyone’s description of it.

Chris: It’s really, really nice.

Dad: I had the highest expectations when I walked in their house thinking, OK, I know what I’m walking into. I’ve seen really nice bars in a house. … I walked in, and it was like, Holy Fuck. … All that’s missing is the cash register.

Mom: You know the bars in Gloucester? It could be one.

Lindsay: It sounds amazing.

Dad: It’s a BAR. It’s not a house bar, it’s A BAR. It’s ridiculous.


Later, we start to worry about Herron. He’s down in the hot tub. By himself. This is a terrible idea. He could die in there. Right now. Not even kidding. He shouldn’t be unsupervised in the hot tub and that’s not a joke. But now we can all talk about it since he’s not in the room. Kelly tells it from her point of view. “I was like, is he alive, can I laugh, what happened. And I just can’t believe that could be possible. Like, nothing happened. He was just sitting in the chair and – ” Dad cuts her off. “There’s a dent in the refrigerator.” Is there really? Wow.

Meanwhile, some people are playing beer pong on the second level, outside on the balcony. It’s a tournament, so the rest of us are just waiting for our turn. But really all I want to do is keep talking and drinking wine. Dad refuses to play so Mom yells at him. “Sam! (That’s what she calls him even though his name is Chuck.) Then you’re taking pictures.” Dad is confused. “Of what?? Beer pong?!”

After beer pong, we have a spelling bee. Muffy is the person with the sheet, saying the word and telling us if we get it right. She’s very professional about the whole thing. When she gets to me after a few rounds, she says, “Lindsay, you’re word is deceive. Deceive.” I cover my face with my hands. I just got finished telling everyone that this is the word that lost me the spelling bee competition in middle school. I remember it so clearly. I said to myself, even mouthed it so the teacher saw it, i before e except after c. And then I still spelled it wrong! Ugh! I was devastated. Of course, I could never spell it wrong again, but you would not believe how nervous I am right now. If you ask me to spell a word, I’m usually very excited about it. I’m a good speller. Even with French, I might not know what a word means, but I guarantee you I can spell it. But when you have a spelling bee it takes it to a whole other level. The pressure! I end up losing on the word hors d’oeuvres (yes I know, it’s a French word).

It’s late when Herron somewhat comes back to life and decides to watch a movie. Most people have gone to bed. I plan to do the same, but he puts on Meet Joe Black. Only my favorite movie of all time! Herron apparently also loves it. Point for Herron. Kelly has never seen it, so I’m so excited for her to watch. Muffy stays up to watch, too. I am so tired. I really want to go to bed. I run down to my bedroom to “change” with every intention of just going to sleep, but it’s my last night, and Kelly is the one who has to drive all day tomorrow. I can at least stay up while she’s up. Go back upstairs and continue watching. It’s not long before I can’t hold my eyes open any longer. I have to go to bed. Kelly stays up and watches the whole movie. I think she goes to bed around 5am. We have to be up at 8.

*The Strokes

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