Red Red Wine

Post-it sign
Post-it sign

It’s Mother’s Day. Mom and Dad ran to the store – even though Mom asked everyone before if we had everything and we all said yes. Of course, we still need some things. While they’re gone, Meghan has the idea to put a sign on Mom’s bedroom mirror that says Happy Mother’s Day. Not only does she have the idea, she actually does it. FYI, Meghan is not Mom’s daughter. We all sit by watching Meg put any kind of effort into Mother’s Day. We’re terrible kids.

I promised myself I’d write every day. Free write, specifically. Which means to just keep writing. Don’t stop and think, no matter what, the pencil keeps moving. Get myself prepared with a big glass of water and a cup of coffee. Look through the cabinets and pick out a cute little mini brown mug with some kind of flower design on it. This will now be my coffee mug for the duration of vacation. Kelly sees me with it and I tell her I like it. “Of course you like it. It’s brown and weird.”

I proceed out to the top floor deck. Everyone is out here reading or trying to soak up some kind of morning rays. I hate free writing. I force myself to keep writing and think I’m writing useless, dumb things. Because I am. Finally give in to my instinct and write what happened the day before – for my blog. What better way to remember vacation than by writing it down every day? Keep checking my phone for the time. Has it been a half hour yet? Christ. My hand actually starts to hurt. I need to write lighter. You know what, forget 30 minutes. Once I get to three pages, I’m done. Close enough.

Now I can enjoy the day. Get my bathing suit on and meet Mom and Kelly outside by the pool. We start early with Mom’s white sangria. This stuff is the shit. I’m telling you. It’s so good I’m not going to put the recipe out to the world. It’s a secret. But it’s delicious and strong. My favorite things in an alcoholic beverage.

Typical morning nap
Typical morning nap

Again, so much random conversation in this household. I am talking to Dad and Kelly and admit that I don’t think I’ve ever had the dream where I’m naked in front of people. Kelly agrees. “Yea, that is such a cliche.” Dad disagrees. “No it’s not!” Let me note that many of the quotes from this trip might not seem as funny on paper as they were in person. Most of the conversation is filled with laughter. For instance, Dad is adamant about the whole naked dream thing, and Kelly and I crack up.

We play Cards Against Humanity again at night. It’s my turn. The card reads, JK Rowlings next book – Harry Potter and the Chamber of… The first card I flip over says, AIDS. Everyone laughs. Kelly shakes her head. “Somebody played the AIDS card.”

The next time it’s my turn, the card reads, During sex I like to think about… After reading all the cards I’m torn. It’s totally between Tangled Slinkys and My Vagina.

Herron always says things out of left field that crack me up. Example, I see him read a card and laugh to himself, then read it out loud: “Poor people’s always funny.” Nice, Herron.

My favorite moment is when the card reads, What’s a girl’s best friend? I read one of the answers aloud. Penis envy. I make a face like, ummm I don’t think so. Stephen interjects, “That doesn’t make any sense.” A second passes and at the same exact time we both say, “Unlessss…”

Good times. That game is so fun.

I think everyone had a day/night where they got really drunk. This was my night. It was the slow, mellow kind of drunk that occurred after mostly everyone else was asleep. Stephen, Herron, Kelly and I stayed up watching Louis CK, Aziz Ansari, and Drunk History (if you’ve never seen Drunk History oh my God…hilarious; watch it). I can remember thinking, I bought so much red wine and no one is drinking it. So. I will. Completely rational.


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