Jumpin’ Jack Flash

John and Jack at his christening
John and Jack at his christening

My alarm is set for 11am, but I’m dead. I change it to 12pm. Have to get up because I have to go to Jack’s christening. Now that I’m up and walking around, I can hear Mom downstairs. “All I could hear last night was Kelly and Lynn singing some song about Nazis.” I would laugh if my head didn’t hurt so bad.

Mom drops me off at the church at 1. I do not want to be here. Maria and Joey are walking up as I arrive. Hi, nice to meet you Joey, do you have any water? They went to a concert last night and were late because of the drive back this morning. They’re not feeling great, either. We walk in the front door and wow, there are so many people here. The service is still going on. My original plan was to come early with Mike and sit through the service. So glad I didn’t. Finally, the service ends and we can go in. Jack is decked out in all white. They’ve let him go free for a minute, so he’s crawling all over the place. Find Mike and can tell he is equally hungover. I feel bad for him that he had to sit through the mass. But Jack is his Godson and all. I’m just the Godfather’s girlfriend. During the christening I try to take some pictures, but even that is painful. Maria and Mrs. are taking enough, anyway.

Once it’s over, Mike and I leave with Mr. and Mrs. I feel sick on the car ride and lay down in the back seat on Mike’s lap. We stop at the Manfre’s house. They’re in and out, but Mike and I stay behind to lay down for a second. Mike was at his cousin’s house last night. They played all sorts of drinking games and were taking shots of whiskey and I’m sure they stayed up super late. His Mom was mad at him this morning. Why? “Because I could barely function.” Wha’d she say? “You’re 28 years old.” Yea…she must not have been too happy with me then either. “Yea, that’s why I was glad you were hungover, too.” Quite the pair, aren’t we?

Jack and his godparents, Aunt Karen and Uncle Mike
Jack and his godparents, Aunt Karen and Uncle Mike

We each take a couch and lay for a little. I find myself in that in between where I’m dreaming but still feel awake. It’s only for about 20 minutes, but at least it’s something. Mike then drives us to John and Mandy’s house for the post-Christening party. I feel awful. And I feel bad that I feel awful. Who comes to a Christening hungover? There’s a lot of family here. I’m sure Jack will be sleeping when we arrive after the very long morning he had, but he’s up and playing in the back room. Must be too much excitement for him!

Joey is drinking a beer and Maria a glass of white wine. They’re ready to go. Maria is expecting me to pour a glass for myself. It’s Sunday Funday, after all. Mandy even points out that she has red wine, just for me. Guess I have a reputation. Joey assures me it’s the right thing to do. “As soon as I started drinking this I felt better.” Really? No, not yet. Not ready. I make a plate of food. The pasta salad stands out in my mind. It tastes so good. Mike still can’t eat. He must be worse off than me. Once I finish eating, I feel slightly better. Oh what the hell, white wine it is. “Yayy!” (That’s Maria.) It goes down slow but being hungover is surely more fun this way.

We head into the backyard and it’s a picture fest. Jack is getting cranky. Everyone has to get a picture with Jack. We’re torturing the poor kid. But wait, let me get a picture with him, too.

Sunday Funday with Maria
Sunday Funday with Maria

Head back inside for more day drinking. Mike is a little behind me, just making a plate of food now. He still can’t drink. Mandy puts Jack down for a nap. I’m sure he needs it. Mandy is holding the baby monitor and shows me. I can see Jack in his crib – not sleeping. In fact, he’s standing. Wait is this happening right now?? That’s crazy. Technology. John and Mike leave for their softball game. Mike used to play in the league with his brother and cousins, so since he’s home, he can play. I stay behind and drink a second glass of wine.

Joey drives me home. As the three of us are walking out to the car, I notice Maria is being louder and more talkative than usual. When did you get drunk?? A sober Joey answers me. “Probably after her 6th glass of wine.” Ha, I didn’t even realize. Maria gives me the front seat and wants to know what I’m doing right now. Nothing, come over. “What are your sisters doing?” I don’t know, call them. She does. And leaves one a message and I think yells at Courtney. Basically, she tells them they’re being lame. Which, in all fairness, they are.

“Lindsay, I know you’re never planning on moving home, but, do you think you will ever move home?” Joey and I exchange glances. I try not to laugh. “Or are you just trying to get everyone to come to California.” I would love for everyone to move to California. Maria is in go mode. She wants to keep drinking, but she and Joey are going to go home first, maybe change their clothes. “OK, I’m going to come over later.” I feel like you’re going to go home and fall asleep. Maria jumps out of the backseat and into the front. “Yea right, I’m ready to go.”

I text her later and no response. She fell asleep.

Playing Party Lines with Court and Mom
Playing Party Lines with Court and Mom

Walk into my house. The whole family is here, even Stephen. “Hello Lindsay.” Hello Stephen. Mom and Dad asked me what I wanted for dinner, so burgers and dogs and corn on the cob it is! We all sit down and have a family dinner. Afterwards, as is the tendency when we’re sitting at the table for dinner, it turns into a game night. Party Lines is the game tonight, and even Mom plays. The game goes like this, person reads the start of a sentence. Then, everyone else finishes the sentence on a small piece of paper. Then the person who read the sentence now reads all of them aloud and tries to guess who wrote what. The first card is this: As the plane was about to take off, the pilot told me…

Mom doesn’t know what to write. “This is so dumb.” Just play, Mom. I don’t know who reads them off, but two are exactly the same. As the plane was about to take off, the pilot told me…I’m not really a pilot. It was me and Dad. Dorks. But when two people have the same answer it’s hilarious. We play on and there starts to be a theme with the answers. One is about how Party Lines is so dumb (I never say that), and the other is anything about banisters. This is because everyone has heard about Mike sliding down the banister and almost killing himself at the wedding. He comes over after his softball game and as he arrives, the card says, I was really embarrassed when… I think everyone wrote something about Mike sliding down a banister, in some way or the other. We really crack ourselves up.

After Mom and Dad go to bed, Kelly and Lauren come over. We reminisce about the classic “only even prime number” video, and Stephen puts it up on the TV for all to watch. It never gets old. The following clip is pretty much inaudible. It’s just Party Lines and laughter.

*Rolling Stones

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