Let it Out

Seven of 15 members of the Bullshit Board

Mike has this thing with a bunch of his cousins and guy friends from home. It’s a message board where they can post things only to each other about…whatever they want to talk about. Seems a lot of the time their bitching about their wives/girlfriends, but a lot of the time they’re posting things when they’re out on the weekend. Mike loves it. It definitely makes him feel more connected to everyone back home. He even said he feels like he’s there sometimes. There are nights when I can’t get his attention because he’s glued to the Bullshit Board (that’s the name of it).

Last weekend, while on the Bullshit Board, they decided to have a Skype session. Mike has made a comedy power hour video in the past, and the guys have been asking him to make a new one. He finally just completed it, so they decide to all watch it together through Skype. I walk in the door around midnight, after my shift, and Mike is still Skyping at the computer. There’s still a little time left in the power hour. I’m not used to seeing Mike awake at this point in the night. I know he has to be up for work early tomorrow. It’s super loud. These guys are always yelling. The first thing I think, is that it’s 3am at home, and they’re still going strong. I should mention that they first did Mike’s original comedy power hour, so they are now at the end of their second power hour. Mike is beyond drunk. It’s kind of funny, because he’s technically been drinking alone all night, but I guess Skype changes that.

His cousins and friends are complete idiots. They call me over to show me something. I come over and immediately walk away before seeing Wehner walk completely naked in front of the camera. I mean, this is what they do when they’re drunk. And then there’s Mike. I never see him this drunk anymore – and with good reason. I know this is just how he acts in front of them when he’s drunk. His only goal is to make them laugh at him. He strips down to his boxers and starts attempting headstands in front of the camera. He’s falling into the window and all over the place and now I’m yelling at him. I don’t want him to break the window or break a body part and he’s being completely retarded. It’s at this point that he tells the guys, “I gotta go, I’m getting in trouble.” OK, no. You’re not getting in trouble. I want you to stay on the computer and talk to your friends. He keeps coming over to me and I’m yelling at him to get back to the computer. It’s like we have guests over and he’s being rude. But Mike has to act like he’s getting in trouble to give him an excuse to get off the computer, because he is about to pass out. I hate being the bad guy. The bitchy girlfriend. But you know what, guys make you that way even if you’re not so they can get out of whatever they’re doing. Like I said, they’re retarded. Mike finally says bye and walks over to me. He apologizes for the millionth time, and even though he’s a complete drunken mess, I can’t be mad at him. I forget what I say to him, but I think I ask him a question. He’s not really listening. “I’m really drunk.” OKKK time for bed. I walk him over and he just has to lay diagonal across the bed, like I don’t sleep here, too. I push him and tell him to move over, but it’s like he’s stuck. He finally gets mad at me. “Stop yelling at me.” He says it so angry that I have to laugh and stop yelling at him. OK. I’ll stop. He passes out.

Girl Talk icon

Even though these boys are all crazy drunks, I think the message board is an amazing idea. It was fun to walk in the door and see them all through the computer. I want to do this with the girls. Mike tells me all about the app we need. It’s called What’sApp. I email the girls and tell them to download it so we can start our own message board, because honestly, most of the time I don’t want to post things on fb, I just want to tell them. Everyone is on board and excited to do it. First I think to call it The Girls, but that’s a little too easy. I settle on Girl Talk, and we have our message board.

This reminds me of instant messenger when we would have group chats. Group chats were always so much more exciting than just IM’ing one person. We don’t write on this thing nearly as much as Mike and his friends do, but it’s still early. We’re a little new to this form of communication with each other. I just want to feel more a part of my friends’ lives. They’re all still connected because they are physically closer to one another. They probably feel connected to me through the blog, but I feel disconnected from them.

I really don’t feel like I have any California friends. I do, but they’re from home. My co-workers are cool, but it’s not like we all hang out together. It’s not a big deal. I don’t really even notice it that much. I have friends – we just don’t get to see each other. And now we have Girl Talk.

There should be 11 of us total on the board (you can’t have more than 15 people), but we only have nine. Megan can’t because she has an ancient phone that doesn’t let her download apps. Heather is the first one to tell us all this – through our beginning emails. “Megan is shit out of luck…she doesn’t have a smart phone. Hahahahaha I am cracking up right now for some reason (sorry Meg).” By Monday, the rest of us are all on – except for Heather. I send her a text. You do realize you’re missing out on Girl Talk. You’re the only one besides Megan, and she can’t download apps. “Karma’s a bitch. My shitty phone won’t download it. I try at least three times a day.” What phone do you have? And why is karma a bitch? “Because I made fun of Megan. The original iPhone that came out years ago. Got a new one, flushed it down the toilet, so now I’m back to this.”

Oh, Heather.

*Girl Talk

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