This’ll Be My Year

Dancing with Heather, July 2011

You know that feeling when you’re about to get sick and there’s nothing you can do to stop it? I hate that feeling. Not sick like you’re going to throw up; sick like your body shuts down and hates you for a week. I get that Friday, of course when I work Friday through Monday. By Sunday and Monday all I do is sleep all day, shower, and go to work. Sleep is all I want.

Over the weekend, Doug and Heather text me and Mike, wishing they lived in California or we lived in New Jersey. “You guys would drink with me and Doug but instead we are by ourselves.” I tell her we should have a skype/drink session one night. “Yea, but that’s not good enough. I want you guys here to go out with us. We are definitely doing a 1-year anniversary trip to Cali… And I’m looking more forward to that trip than our honeymoon.” Yes. I love it. I wish Doug and Heather were here. But I don’t think they’ll ever move for the reason that most people don’t move – family is in New Jersey. Doug might say he doesn’t care, but when it comes down to it, I don’t think he could leave Jersey. Heather isn’t finished. “I’m serious. It sucks. Everyone is having babies. I just wanna drink.” I know. Seriously. It’s nice to know someone still feels that way. Eventually, I want to have babies, too, but every time I think about when it’s always like, yea, maybe in five years.

Can you imagine having this many little ones?

Tuesday I have off and hope that I’ll feel better, but it’s another day of sleeping, eating, and watching TV shows (Game of Thrones and The Killing). Mike has off, too, so we spend the day together. He nicely stays with me and even takes a nap with me at 4pm. If I were in his shoes, I would have to get out of the apartment at some point, but Mike is perfectly content without seeing the sun for a week. When Kevin visited, we talked about it. “(During football season) Mike always said Sunday was his favorite day of the week because he didn’t have to shower or leave the apartment.” Real nice, Mike. I don’t know how he came up with this, but he acted like it wasn’t his rule; it was the rule.

I guess I still have babies on the mind from my conversation with Heather, so I bring it up. Mike, what would you do if I told you I was pregnant. (Without hesitation) “We would have to move home.” Why? (Incredulously) “We can’t take care of a baby by ourselves.” Why not? We’re adults. “Because it would probably die.” Well, isn’t that just great.

Are we going to be kids forever? Sometimes I feel like I will. I’ll always call Mom when I don’t know how to do something, and there will always be something I don’t know how to do. I’m 27 years old and most times don’t feel like an adult. I either feel like a kid or an old person because I never go out and my idea of a good time is playing board games and drinking wine with friends. Each year I hope I’ll have my shit together by the following year, and when the following year turns into now, I hope the same thing again. In the meantime I’m basically happy with where I am – or at least happy with where I’m trying to go. I just sometimes wish time wouldn’t move so fast.

*Train

7 thoughts on “This’ll Be My Year

  1. Omggg I am seriously cracking up right now. Can’t believe Mike the baby would die lol! I miss you so much Linds!! Ps..I’m not ready for any babies either, at least not til school is over our just about over & that’s like 20 months away. Until then, I plan on continuing to drink:-) just wish we could do it together…love ya!

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