Little Secrets

Susan, Kelly, and Katie at Sandy Hook, 2007

It’s brought to my attention that a new sleeping pill came out today. McConville thought of me when she heard. How sweet. I’ve already talked about my embarrassing sleeping pill days, but McConville and Allie were there for most of it since they were my roommates when I started taking them. I didn’t take them for that long; probably a year or so. It must have carried over into senior year, though, because I have a very distinct preseason memory that involves Ambien.

(Let me first admit that this blog is becoming more and more of a diary entry and less and less an account of day-to-day life. There are some things I can’t write about, either because they are just too personal or because it’s not my story to tell. This is one of those things I’m not sure I should write about, but I’m realizing that the unsure topics are the more fun ones to read. So I’ll continue.)

So it’s preseason senior year. Every previous year, the team has gone away on a “retreat” to Sandy Hook. It’s only one night away, and we stay in this big abandoned, random house with a lot of bedrooms. We go to the beach for team building, then have pizza usually, then sit around and talk about the book we had to read over the summer and get to know each other. I don’t think any of us ever really look forward to it but we still have fun. This year, senior year, we don’t go to Sandy Hook. We go to some cabin in the woods place. We play kickball – that’s cool. Sit around a fire later – that’s cool, too. But sleeping? We have to sleep in small cabins with wooden planks underneath us – not cool. Monica (my coach), usually puts us in our groups. She tries to put us with people we’re not usually with. She does this throughout the night, but when it comes to sleeping arrangements, she lets us pick (Maybe she didn’t, and I just got lucky with a good cabin). There’s probably five us in there. Bridget and Hollee are with me – I remember because somebody had a video camera and we were taking a video. Or maybe not and it was just a camera phone. Allie is here, too, I think. Was A Lo there? I don’t know if there were any freshmen – I hope not because what happened next was not good. We were all complaining about not being able to sleep in the woods on wooden boards, when I had an idea. Hey guys, I take ambien, and I have enough if everyone wants to take one. There is some excitement and freaking out about taking it. Some just open their hands; other say, “Lindsay!” Eventually, we all take one. I’m so excited they can all feel what I feel every night. Bridget keeps telling me she can’t feel it. “When am I going to feel it? Stets, what is it going to feel like? Will I know? Am I going to be OK?” She is such a spaz. We continue to take video and all get giddy and start laughing about everything. I certainly don’t remember falling asleep, but I’m pretty sure we all sleep through the night. The next day, our teammates all complain of not being able to sleep. My cabin keeps their mouths shut.

This is not a memory I’m proud of, but still a memory I have with my teammates. Monica wanted us to bond – and we definitely did. I loved that night in the cabin.

*Passion Pit

2 thoughts on “Little Secrets

  1. I just wish you would stop calling it a cabin. It was a big, shabby, green tent; at least a cabin would have a door and perhaps a real floor. That was probably the worst night sleep I’ve ever had!

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