In the Garage

A work in progress

80 and sunny today. This calls for an 8-mile run. I pass Manny from Modern Family on the way back. He’s riding a bike and waves to me with a big smile on his face. No, this is not celebrity sighting #3. This kid just looks like a mini-Manny. Imagine this little pudge ball smiling and waving at you. I give a big smile and wave back, almost laughing. He’s too cute.

I decide to Christma-fy the balcony when I get back. It’s right outside our bedroom, and no one goes out here, so I feel like I can pretty much do whatever I want. I string lights all across the top of the balcony. There’s puddles all over the place (from our one full day of rain). I try to sweep them into drains but it doesn’t work, so I soak them up with towels (not my towels…eek i feel a little guilty but I’ll wash them!). There’s a small table out here and two ugly, dirty plastic chairs. I windex the crap out of them. On my run, I passed our neighbor having a garage sale. I LOVE garage sales. When I was little I went to one and bought a little white mug that had Snow White and all the seven dwarfs around it. For 25 cents. Maybe 50 cents. I then babysat down the street for Missy. Her daughter, Lauren, was in my brother’s grade. I thought she was so cool. Anyway, Missy seemed to babysit all the neighborhood kids. They’d be everywhere at her house. I’d be there to basically watch and help after school. I’m sure I didn’t make much (I’m sure I didn’t do much), but I kept all the money I made in that snow white ceramic mug. I finally got to $100 after about a year it felt like. I had never seen that much money in my life at 12 years old. Since senior of college, I don’t go to garage sales. I’m afraid people are giving away their stuff because they have bed bugs. Paranoid?

So I walk over. This is the first time I’ve been to a garage sale in a long time. I spot two bamboo mat things; the ones that roll out. They look like they can be used as blinds or as a beach mat. I want both of them to lay down on the balcony. Some guy is here and makes things very confusing – I can’t tell if he is a buyer or seller. He finally says he’s just messing and can sell me something. Well I want those, how much are they? “These?…Ummm…five bucks.” For both of them? Damn. I don’t know how much these things go for but I didn’t want to spend $10 on a couple of mats for my temporary balcony. And of course, I don’t say anything. Like, I’ll give you three dollars for the pair. I wish I could be like that. If only Jess Buffman were here. Alright, I’ll take one. I give him a 5 and walk away. I’m 20 paces away and he’s running after me. The actual owner of the apartment had him chase me down. “Hey, sorry, the lady who lives here is really generous. You just moved here and everything, she wants to give you both for 5.” Really? Thanks so much. Dick.

I grab the two beach chairs from my car, my two new mats, and head back up to the balcony to complete the ensemble. I finish it with my little snowman guy that lights up. I wasn’t going to bring him but Mom threw him in the car last minute. This makes me happy. Now the four of us can sit out here. Yea, right. I will be the only one out here.

Our bedroom at night

Monday morning I make coffee and go out to my new spot. It’s so nice out here. I study the menu for Frenchy and make some phone calls for stupid things I never feel like doing. Such a procrastinator. Joe’s Restaurant left a message the night before so I call back Austin. He wants me to come in for a follow-up interview Thursday at 5pm. I’m training again Tuesday at Lilly’s and I have no idea if they’ll ask me to work Thursday, too. I don’t know what to do. Truth it is, since I suck at lying. Austin is the man. “I totally understand. Thanks for being honest with me. See how it goes Tuesday and how you like it. I don’t really know anything about Lilly’s but Joe’s is a great place.” He’s so honest and cool on the phone, like we’re friends or something. Definitely want to keep my options open. Too bad I’m in love with Frenchy. Best case scenario – I can work both jobs. These restaurants are about 10 paces away from each other.

I decide to clean the bedroom. Doesn’t require too much work but I would like to vacuum. Find it in the hall closet. Dude, this thing is from 1970. And the bag is full, so it doesn’t work. I open it up and see it’s made by Sears. Call them up to find out if they carry them, how much they are, and if I can just buy one. This stupid girl puts me on hold and hangs up. I call back. She answers. Hi, yes, I was holding to find out about the vacuum bags. “Oh yea, hold on real quick?” Hangs up again. I call back. Yea, I’ve been hung up on twice. I was holding about the vacuum bags. “Oh yea, hold on real quick.” Same thing every time. Now I get transferred. This new girl transfers me again. Holding for a while. Another person gets on the phone. Hold please. Hang up. I’m livid. I really wish I didn’t get so mad at this shit. I even have Christmas music playing. This is supposed to make everything better. It doesn’t.

F U Sears. I’m going to Target. I want them to know that I’m going to Target. I want to make a big scene. It only happens in my head. I head to Target to return a shitty stapler and get a new one, AA batteries for my snowman guy outside, coffee, a candle for our room, and obviously a vacuum. Somehow, I start buying Christmas things that I don’t have the money for as soon as I walk in the store. A couple gift bags and wrapping paper. For what? Any presents I’m sending home are going to have to be wrapped by Mom (sorry Mom, hope that isn’t a problem). And it can’t be too much of a problem since the ONLY gift I’m sending home is for my “family” polyanna. Mike and I have no money to spend on each other…and that’s pretty much it. Still, I can’t help myself. Spend wayyyyy too much time in the wrapping paper aisle. A lot of thought goes into this. I mean if you’re wrapping with more than one paper, then you can try to match them, so maybe one green-themed, one red. I know I won’t have many gifts to wrap (if any), so I only pick one, which means I have to pick the BEST one. I tend to go for the more old-fashioned paper. Nothing flashy. See a cream-colored one with snowmen on it. The snowman has his head up (like Snoopy), like he’s laughing. Oh, he’s so happy. I say this out loud. Then immediately put it back. I am talking to inanimate objects as if they can hear me. As if this wrapping paper has feelings. I’m becoming my mother. Decide on a dark green paper with little, adorable, old-time looking Santa’s on it. Definitely the best one.

Finally happy once I pieced it together

I pick out a cheap vacuum. Like 50 bucks. Did you know vacuum’s can go for like $700??? Madness. It’s real simple to put together. Not. This is infuriating. Three screws go in here somewhere. I figure out two of them but the third one has me wanting to hit a hammer into my head. Hammer. Good idea. Pretty sure you’re not supposed to hammer in the screw, but it’s IMPOSSIBLE to screw it in. I hammer it in with pleasure. Stupid vacuum.

*Weezer

11 thoughts on “In the Garage

  1. I lol-ed at you talking to the wrapping paper… I could totally picture you doing that… and the happy snowmen. And I completely feel you on the rude/horrible customer service! I get so angry and even though I know it will not help, it makes me feel better to express to them just how angry they have made me. When I’m really angry I get their name and make a complaint in writing. Have yet to receive any feedback from such letters. lol. Love ya!

  2. I GOT A SHOUT OUT!!

    so proud of you at the garage sale…you pulled the “walk away” move (intentional or not)..gets them every time!

    Miss you and I LOVE the decorations. Just filled my candy bowl with christmas candy in the spirit of Lindsay Stetson.

  3. That’s what you get for buying a $50 vacuum šŸ˜‰

    Oh, and I absolutely talk to inanimate objects all the time. Everything that’s remotely cute suddenly has feelings and a personality. This is, no doubt, a learned behavior.

  4. Been reading everytime you blog linds, tell Troy and Manfre I miss em and will be out to see you guys when your a little more settled. Glad the ball is rolling for all of you though!!!!

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